Rurouni Kenshin OutTakes
by Mini-Oro-Kenji-Himura
Summary: Come see the RK gang (including the children of our heroes end enemies) in their messed up scenes here only from mini-oro-kenji-himura!
1. WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS GET IT RIGHT!

Rurouni Kenshin Out-Takes  
  
These scenes your about to read didn't happen in RK, well not all!  
  
Kyori: what do you mean "not all"?  
  
Narrator: well I did put some REAL scenes here but mostly I made the rest  
  
up!  
  
Kyori: oh...*cough* *cough* baka*cough* *cough*.  
  
Narrator: (death glare at kyori) why do I have a baka imouto? Why me?  
  
(Nods head) well on with the show!  
  
Kyori: boy! What mood-swing? Why so jumpy?  
  
Narrator: cause "my" man is in here that's why! DUH!  
  
Kyori: oh you mean Kenji? Baka of course he's in here you're the one who  
  
is writing this!  
  
Narrator: I know but still "kenji" (drools).  
  
Kyori: PATHETIC! Lets just start!  
  
Narrator: ok! I don't own RK that's Nobuhiro Watsuki-sensei's But I do  
  
own Kayamai, sano's son (souzou), and everyone else's son/daughter except:  
  
kenji, shin ya, and the RK-cast but I do wish.  
  
Kyori: this is humor no angst, drama, romance well a little, but mostly  
  
humor you have been warned! Ps: there is spoilers here too.  
  
~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~  
  
*Scene where kaoru first meets kenshin...******************************  
  
Kenshin: (walking in the dark roads of Tokyo...)  
  
Kaoru: Stop! Hitokiri Battousai!  
  
Kenshin: (turns around to face a young woman.)  
  
Kaoru: I've found you! For two months you have murdered at will! Now it  
  
ends!  
  
Kenshin: Oro?  
  
Kaoru: don't play the fool! Who else defy the law and carry a katana in this  
  
night?! (starts to run towards kenshin).  
  
Kenshin: demo...I am not carrying a katana kaoru?!  
  
Kaoru: (stops mid-way) nani? Kenshin where's your sakabatou?  
  
Kenshin: that's what I want to know de gozaru?!  
  
Camera points to Shin Ya who is innocently playing with the sakabatou  
  
with Saitoh.  
  
Kenshin: shin ya-chan give back my sakabatou!  
  
Shin ya (off stage): NO!  
  
Kaoru: why shin ya-chan!?  
  
Shin ya: Saitoh says if I steal I'll get stronger! And also stop it with the  
  
little I'm TEN no chan ok! Shish!  
  
RK-cast: (stares at saitoh with death glares.)  
  
Saitoh: what? I was just teaching the kid something?!  
  
Yahiko (who is a man now cool huh): saitoh don't teach my son how to be  
  
you, you already got a son teach him not mine!  
  
Ryu: leave otousan out of this if he wants to teach so then be it!  
  
Kayamai: oniisan don't say that what otousan did was wrong and you know  
  
it! (Smacks ryu on the head).  
  
Souzou: great hit jou-chan!  
  
RK-cast: shut-up souzou!  
  
Souzou: geez alright man can't even enjoy myself!  
  
Director: hum cut! Shin ya give kenshin his sakabatou back and saitoh  
  
don't teach! Stick with Gatotsu ok?!  
  
*Scene from above take two.**************************************  
  
Kenshin: (walking in the dark roads of Tokyo...)  
  
Kaoru: Stop! Hitokiri Battousai!  
  
Kenshin:*WHOMP* (a basketball is thrown on his face.) Oroooo!?  
  
Kenji: (comes running on the set) otousan! Are you alright?! Gomen nasai  
  
otousan?! Otousan!?  
  
Director: cut! Good aim kenji but no basketballs it's the Meiji!!!   
  
*Scene where gohei is about to hurt kaoru...********************************  
  
Gohei: (raises his katana to strike then...)  
  
Waits..........................  
  
Kaoru: KENSHIN where are you? You need to save me?!  
  
(A noise is heard then kenshin walks in.)  
  
Kenshin: gomen I needed to use the restroom! So where were we?  
  
Director: cut! Kenshin if you need to go you tell us, so we don't waste film  
  
GEEZ! For the love of god get it RIGHT!  
  
*Scene from above take two.*********************************  
  
Gohei: (raises his katana to strike then brings it down.)  
  
Kaoru: (shock waiting for the impact.)  
  
Kenji: (saves his mother from the attack.)  
  
Kaoru: kenji? Where is kenshin?  
  
Kenji: he's over there(points to the side where kenshin's sakabatou is stuck  
  
to a ladder and all the male rk-cast tries to help.)  
  
Kaoru, kenji, gohei, director, and the dead policemen's smack their heads.  
  
Director: um cut! Someone help kenshin with his sakabatou while I'll go  
  
fall down a cliff or something.  
  
*Scene where kenshin saves kaoru from gohei part two.************************  
  
Gohei: you again. Are you here to talk about "swords that gives life," too?!  
  
Kenshin:....No. A sword is a weapon the art of swordsmanship is learning  
  
how to kill that is the truth.....um....um?  
  
Kenji: (runs on the set with a sakabatou in hand and hair tied in a low  
  
ponytail like kenshin's, wearing a magenta gi) but what kaoru-dono says is  
  
sweet and innocent talk with only those who's hands never been stained  
  
with the blood of men can believe...but to tell you the truth I much prefer  
  
kaoru-dono's sweet and innocent talk over the truth yes indeed I do...if this  
  
one had a wish, it would be that her lie would be the truth for all of us to  
  
live by.(walks up in the middle of the room smiles then takes a bow.)  
  
RK-cast: that was so beautiful!(claps while Kenji bow's once more)  
  
Director: that was perfect kenji we can edit this a little and also get kenshin  
  
cut off as well!!.......  
  
Kenshin: Oro! Kenji those were my lines! Why did you do that?  
  
Kaoru: I thought they were good great job son!  
  
Kenji: arigatou okaasan! Otousan I saw you fregit so I thought you needed  
  
help! I don't want people laughing at you.  
  
Kenshin: (softened he smiles) arigatou gozaimasu kenji you did great de  
  
gozaru ka! (Hugs kenji.)   
  
Director: awwwwwwwwwwwww...I mean CUT!  
  
*Scene where kenshin fights Zanza (a.k.a Sanosuke.)**************************  
  
Zanza: I have come to fight the one they call the "great" of the bakumatsu.  
  
Kenshin: I have no meaning to fight...  
  
Souzou (off stage): come on! fight! you scared kenshin!? Man for a  
  
battousai you're a tori-atama.(Imitates a chicken)bak, bak, bak!  
  
Kenji: my otousan is NO tori-atama you baku!  
  
Souzou: yes he is.  
  
Kenji: No he's not.  
  
Hiko: baku kodomo! Baku deshi is a tori-atama!  
  
Kenji and Souzou: shut-up! Hiko-oiijsan!!!  
  
Hiko: alright shish can't even complain about anything these days.  
  
Kenji: so where were we? Oh yeah! NO! he's NOT a tori-atama!  
  
Souzou: oh yeah then PROVE it!  
  
Kenji: I'll gladly (punches souzou on the nose then jumps on top then starts  
  
beating him.)  
  
Male rk-cast: fight! Fight! FIGHT!!(Including kenshin and sano.)  
  
Director: um c-cut? Stop you guys this is not a boxing ring it's the MEIJI!  
  
for Pete sakes STOP!! Huh I give up! FIGHT! FIGHT!!  
  
*Scene from the top take two.***************************************  
  
Zanza: I have come to fight the one they call the "great" of the bakumatsu.  
  
Kenshin: I have no meaning to fight this battle.  
  
Zanza: (takes his covered blade then rips the cover) meet my friend the  
  
zanbatou (n.m. zanza.)  
  
Kenshin: (does his battou-jutsu then narrows his eyes.)  
  
Zanza:....hey what the F&#K is this, my zanbatou is "cardboard".  
  
Kenshin:....what the hell!? what do you mean cardboard!?  
  
Zanza: oh let me say it "slow"enough for you to understand my...  
  
zanbatou...is...cardboard! do you get it NOW!  
  
Kenshin:...I know what the hell you said but how can this be (he grips on  
  
the hilt of his sakabatou then it breaks.) Oro? My sakabatou is FAKE!  
  
Zanza: you too what the F#%K is going on here!  
  
Camera points to kenji whistling innocently while throwing the "real"  
  
zanbatou in the break room.  
  
Souzou: so you are the one who took otousan's zanbatou! it was YOU!  
  
Kenji: I have no clue what you talking about you sakabatou-stealer! Give  
  
otousan his sakabatou back!  
  
Souzou: NEVER! You give back otousan's zanbatou first!  
  
Kenji: don't be stupid you ass!  
  
Souzou: what you call me!  
  
Kenji: you know what I said you ASS!  
  
Souzou: that's it were not friends ANYMORE!  
  
Kenji: we were NEVER friends you dumb-ass!  
  
Kenshin: kenji be nice even though he did "steal" my sakabatou it's not  
  
nice to call people that way de gozaru yo!  
  
Zanza: you shut the F#%K up girly-girl!  
  
Kenshin: you shut-up you ASSHOLE!  
  
Kenji: otousan it's not nice to call people names.  
  
Kenshin: kenji F#%K that forget it that's for goody-goodies we're men just  
  
F#&King deal with it am I F#&King right?!  
  
Male rk-cast: YEAH WE'RE MEN! F%#K THE NICE!  
  
Female rk-cast: NO! THERE IS CHILDREN HERE!  
  
Director: CUT! For god F#%King sakes can't none of you get it F#%King  
  
right! Huhhhh!  
  
Kenji: ah go F#%K yourself.   
  
*Scene where Jin-e kidnaps kaoru.**********************************  
  
Kenshin: (holding kaoru's indigo ribbon) fine...this one will bring it right  
  
back. So you go home and wait for its return.  
  
Kaoru: I'll do that.  
  
Jin-e:(comes about to grab kaoru but..)  
  
Kenshin:(grabs kaoru then uses the sakabatou and makes a hole in the  
  
boat.)  
  
Jin-e:(sinks in water)HELP! I CAN'T SWIM! I'm h2o intolerant!  
  
Kenshin: oro! Whoopies! oh well at least I got kaoru!(Grins evilly.)  
  
Kaoru:(blushes) arigatou kenshin.  
  
Director: cut! Kenshin your suppose to let jin-e kidnap kaoru and jin-  
  
e?...uh-oh! MEDICS!  
  
*Scene from above take ten.**************************************  
  
Director: get it RIGHT people man, kenshin NO saving kaoru!  
  
Jin-e: (grabs kaoru) uh-uh uh-uh be angry battousai be....  
  
Kenji: (grabs kaoru then makes a hole in the boat then jumps ashore) leave  
  
okaasan alone you kusotare!  
  
Kenshin: I'm proud of you my son! (Hugs kaoru and kenji.)  
  
Director: cut! Not you too kenji! Oh shimatta someone save jin-e!   
  
*Scene where jin-e uses Shin-No-Ippou on kaoru.******************************  
  
Jin-e: we must have you become more enraged. (Does that shin-no-ippou  
  
thingy.)  
  
Enishi: (comes on the stage.) Don't you dare hurt MY kaoru! (Grabs kaoru  
  
then sprays peppermint spray on jin-e's eyes.)  
  
Jin-e: OH GOD! OH GOD! MY EYES! OH GOD! (Falls to the ground  
  
crying like a baby.)  
  
Kenshin: ENISHI! give back MY KOISHII! or face death!  
  
Chibi-Kenji: YEAH! give okaachan back enishi-ojichan! (Starts  
  
begging.)Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee! (Starts to cry.)  
  
Enishi: (puts down kaoru then goes to chibi-kenji then hugs him.) Maa,  
  
maa don't cry I gave back your okaachan don't cry ok?!  
  
Chibi-Kenji: arigatou enishi-ojichan for giving back okaachan! (Hugs him  
  
back.)  
  
Kenshin: (grabs kaoru.) ENISHI! give back MY SON! or else!  
  
Enishi: or else WHAT!?  
  
Kenshin: or else I'm going to KILL YOU! BA WA HA HA HA!!!  
  
Kaoru: kenshin alright stop going crazy I already got chibi-kenji right here  
  
stop your fuming.  
  
Director: cut! Kenshin stop being evil your saving Japan! And no fuming  
  
kenji don't cry enishi get off the set work with me people!  
  
*Scene from above take two.******************************************  
  
Jin-e: we must have you become more enraged. (Does that shin-no-ippou  
  
thingy.)  
  
Kaoru: (can't "breath" starts calling kenshin weakly.) Kh khhh kh!  
  
Kenshin: kaoru-dono!  
  
Jin-e: I made it stronger then usual. Enough to paralyze her lungs!  
  
(Starts walking towards kenshin.) She will last two minutes at most this  
  
won't be.....(slips on something) ahhhhhhhhhh *thump*  
  
Kenji(teen): oh yeah! you are sooooo "scary!" I'm sooooo "scared!"  
  
Jin-e: what the hell is this (picks up a banana peel.)  
  
Janitor: (pick's banana peel then tosses it in the garbage.) Whoops must  
  
have missed this one! (Walks away.)  
  
Jin-e: who did this? Who is the one who threw it?! (points to the rk-cast.)  
  
Rk-cast: (glares at Aoshi.)  
  
Aoshi:.........well I didn't do it! Just because I love bananas that doesn't  
  
mean I did it!  
  
Enishi: (has a banana in his mouth everyone stares at him.) What? So what  
  
if I did! Kaoru is in danger and kenshin can't save her!  
  
Director: huh cut! Enishi she is NOT in REAL danger and beside you have  
  
a wife and kid save them not kenshin's. Shish! why ME!!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author's note.  
  
Narrator: that was so much fun writing about "kenji" huhhh!  
  
Kyori: oh please you had kenji in EVERY FREAKING SCENE!  
  
Narrator: well I can't help it, I love him to much! Even chibi-kenji (Snaps  
  
fingers then kenji magically appears, narrator hugs kenji)  
  
Kenji: ORO! Where the hell am I? Who the hell are you? And why the hell  
  
are you hugging me de gozaru?  
  
Kyori: kenji your in the author-space, I'm kyori that's my oneesan the  
  
narrator, and she loves you so that's why she's hugging you!  
  
Narrator: KENJI! KENJI! KENJI! I LOVE YOU!!!  
  
Kenji: oro...um...arigatou? Demo you know I have a girlfriend and she'll  
  
get furious if I'm with another girl!  
  
Narrator: (lets go of kenji.) I know you have a girlfriend don't worry I don't  
  
plan on making you mine, your not going to be happy with me I love you to  
  
much to see you hurt!  
  
Kenji: (smiles) arigatou for saying that you're the nicest person I've meet  
  
(kisses her on the cheek) sayonara kyori-dono and narrator-dono! (Snaps  
  
fingers then disappears.)  
  
Narrator: he kissed me! he really kissed me! oh my, kenji! (Faints.)  
  
Kyori: that was weird! Huh? I wonder if I can get my pookie- soujiro that  
  
way? Well I'll just write the rest up for my oneesan while she sleeps! Heh  
  
heh heh I wonder what to do with pookie?!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Scene where we first meet Megumi Takani.(Gambling area.)*****************  
  
Sanosuke: so which is it? Odds? Evens?  
  
Kenshin:...a 5 and 6 odds.  
  
Caller: 5-6 ODDS.  
  
Sanosuke: Ooo, this training I like! Just watching the hands, tho' right?  
  
Kenshin: "come on," you said. "it's an emergency," you said. Sano  
  
gambling is illegal.  
  
Sanosuke: and...?! your sakabatou is illegal too. Violation of the sword ban.  
  
Kenshin: true enough...  
  
Megumi: (Suddenly bursts in the room sees kenshin's sword then hugs  
  
kenshin.) Please help ME!  
  
Kenshin: ORO?  
  
Megumi: I'm being ch...ohohohoh.(drops to the ground laughing.)  
  
Kenshin: oro! What is it megumi-dono what is so funny?  
  
Megumi: your face it was so funny you looked like sano! Ohohoh!!  
  
Kenji: (eye's at kenshin)she's right you know you do look like him!  
  
Director: cut! You were so close why? WHY? Can't you do it right!   
  
*Scene where megumi make ohagi.****************************  
  
Megumi: I hope you like the ohagi I made. (Puts tray down.)  
  
Kenshin, kaoru, genzai-sensai, ayamai, suzume, and yahiko sits.  
  
Kenshin: I wonder where is sano?  
  
Sanosuke: I'm here!! (pops out of nowhere then starts munching.)  
  
Kenshin: sano? Your not suppose to be here!?  
  
Sanosuke: hey MY kitsume made it and I'm starving I need Food!  
  
Kenji, Souzou, and Soujiro: we're hungry too! (Goes on the set settles then  
  
starts eating.)  
  
Kaoru: thank goddess I made enough!  
  
Everyone: (stops eating and asks in unison) you made this?! we thought  
  
megumi made it?!  
  
Megumi: well I didn't have time to make it so I made kaoru-san do it!  
  
Kenji: (swallows) it's good okaasan very good! I didn't know you cook?  
  
Kaoru: of course I can cook but I have to pretend I don't!  
  
Kenshin: it's delicious koishii!(Everyone agrees then starts eating.)  
  
Director: cut! kaoru can I have some of your ohagi? *munch* yum!   
  
*Scene where kenshin....is teaching kenji.....laundry?!?!**********************  
  
Kenshin: (singing)*hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo yoake no mama de, koesou  
  
de*(starts washing clothes)  
  
Kenji: (comes help kenshin with the laundry starts singing.) *butsukatteikya  
  
kokeru omoi yo konya mo mata, sure chigai*  
  
Sanosuke and Souzou off stage: (comes in) *sanzan sugite doryoku no ato  
  
mo naku naru kekka, only no tsuna watari*(helps as well)  
  
Yahiko and Yutaru off stage: (joins in) *yaru dake son suru yona, mainichi  
  
wa sha ni kamaeteta hou koso, raku ni naru*(also helps)  
  
Shin ya and Shen-wang off stage: (joins) *atsukute, tsurai jibun wo  
  
kakushite, mijikai toki wo ikiteru*(starts rinsing the clothes)  
  
Aoshi and Toshi off stage: (comes in) *hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo yoake no  
  
mama de, koesou de*(they to help rinse the clothes)  
  
Enishi and Raijuta off stage: (enters) hottokeba, hashiru omoi yo yume mo  
  
mata, sure chigai*(starts to wash other clothing's)  
  
Hiko and Shougo off stage: (joins) *kanpeki to chau, jinsei no shuushi  
  
puramai zero da nanteba honto ka na?*(helps too)  
  
Jin-e and Gohei off stage: (enters) *shinu made ni tsukaikiru, un no kazu  
  
semete, jibun de dashiire wo sasete*(starts to hang them)  
  
Soujiro and Shishio off stage: (starts) *wakacchainai, kimi nara dou ni  
  
demo, rikutsu wo kaete ii noni*(helps rinse the last one)  
  
Director: cut? Huh can't beat them, join them! (Starts singing.)  
  
All male rk-cast (including the director sings): *nando kimi ni, ketsu  
  
mazuitemo modottekichau, aijou ni*(dances with clothing?)  
  
All male-adults: *shinjikaneru, utaretsuyosa yo konya mo, soutou  
  
nemurenai*(starts hanging the sheets)  
  
All male-teenagers: *nando nankai, kurikaeshitemo modottekichau, ai  
  
dakara*(starts helping the children hang them)  
  
All male-children: *butsukatteiku, kesunu omoi wo semeru hou ga, suji  
  
chigai*(puts clothes on the racks)  
  
Kenshin and Kenji: (final versa) *hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo yoake no  
  
mama de koeteyuku*(finishes with the last one)  
  
Director: (finishes it) *aishou yori mo, fukai futari wa sure chigatte  
  
kamawanai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* CUT!!! great you guys but NO singing!! What did  
  
we sing anyway?   
  
Kenji: oh we sang "Heart of Sword" the Rurouni Kenshin ending theme 6.  
  
Duh! And also laundry is so cool no wonder you enjoy it!   
  
Female rk-cast: that was great! (Claps for the males.)  
  
Kenshin: great job with the laundry minna-san! you too kenji! I didn't  
  
know you guys knew "heart of sword"? How did you learn of this kenji?  
  
And also, glad you like it kenji! (kenji smiles)   
  
Kenji: first I went to the internet your name mean's "heart of sword" from  
  
the song while mine's is "scarred sword" cool huh!?  
  
Director: that's nice kenji but there is NO computers here it's the MEIJI!!!  
  
Jesus Crisis get it in your heads meiji! Meiji! MEIJI! Cut!  
  
*Scene where kenji and kenshin argues.***************************  
  
Kenji: WHY?! Otousan?! Why do you keep leaving okaasan and me? Do we  
  
disgust you? Or is because of me is that it?  
  
Kenshin: Iie kenji you and your okaasan do not disgust me!  
  
Kenji: Then WHY do keep wandering? Is strangers more in important then  
  
your OWN family!?(shuts eyes then starts to "cry" of anger and sadness.)  
  
Kenshin: kenji....I have....reasons why.......  
  
Kenji: for WHAT!? To help people in need! Okaa cries every night! Don't  
  
you think she's in need!(clenches hands in to fists.)  
  
Kenshin: kenji I know, goman nasai kenji I do not mean to hurt you or  
  
your okaasan. I...(starts to fight off "tears".)  
  
Kenji: well OTOU! You're the worst tousan in this world!(starts to "tear  
  
away".) I HATE YOU! I hate you with all of my soul!  
  
Kenshin: k-ken-kenji (starts really crying)y-you h-hate me? IIE! What have  
  
I done wrong? Kenji you know I never REALLY wandered off?! You h-hate  
  
me? My own son hates me?! I'm so unworthy to be called father! I'm  
  
awful!(looks at kaoru) I TOLD you koishii sessha is unworthy! I'm so  
  
stained and I don't deserve a family.(falls to the ground crying.)  
  
Kenji: oro?! Ano otou I don't hate you!(crouches down.)listen otou I don't  
  
hate you(starts crying also.)  
  
Kenshin: (looks at kenji)really kenji you don't hate me?!   
  
Kenji: (nods head then smiles)I can never hate you otou your the greatest  
  
father I could ask for, and don't say your unworthy your not you're the  
  
strongest man alive! that I'm proud of to say otou!  
  
Kenshin: (hugs kenji)arigatou kenji! Goman for doubting you! Aishiriru  
  
aisoku!  
  
Kenji: (hugs back)aishiriru otousan! Aishiriru!  
  
Director: CUT! That is nice the little father-son reunion thing but KENJI  
  
your suppose ta hate kenshin and kenshin have you tried ACTING cause  
  
that's what we're doing acting shish! What a migraine.  
  
*Scene from top take twenty-five.*******************************  
  
Director: come on kenshin act shish roll it!  
  
Kenji: I HATE YOU! With everything within me!(starts crying.)   
  
Kenshin: he loves me his only acting but oh kami-sama it hurts though stay  
  
calm finish this and never do this again! Right! Kenji I..   
  
Kenji: (falls to the ground crying)I can't do this I can't say this it hurts to  
  
see otou like this I'm such an awful son I'M so unworthy!  
  
Kenshin: (hugs kenji)kenji iie it's not your fault your not a bad son or is  
  
unworthy! If you don't want to say it then don't! It's director-san's  
  
fault!(looks at the director with amber eyes)NEVER make MY son say  
  
THIS again or you will DIE!(holds kenji closer.)never!  
  
Director: *gulp* c-cut?! Su-sure batto-kenshin of course heh hee BREAK!  
  
Kami-sama I have to be more careful or *gulp* else! *gulp*  
  
  
  
*****************************************************************************************************  
  
(A/n) hey minna-san this is the second RK fanfic that I wrote so far.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JA NE MINNA-SAN!!!! 


	2. OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

Rurouni Kenshin Out-Takes Chapter 2: OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own RK....but hey that doesn't mean I can't screw them up right?!  
  
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Narrator: hey minna-san! How are you guys? You missed me?!  
  
Kyori: oh shut-up baka! They missed me the most!  
  
Narrator: no they do not! They LOVE ME!! Am I RIGHT! minna-san!!! you missed me RIGHT!  
  
Kyori: oh please don't kid yourself! They love to read this just so they can read about me not  
  
you!  
  
Narrator: oh shut-up they are becoming restless here shall we start?  
  
Kyori: no! We should just leave them hanging for our selfish reasons! Of course we should start!  
  
Man! I have a baka for a sister, man I wish I had an onii-san then an onee-san kami-sama help  
  
me!  
  
Narrator: (hits kyori on the head.) Shut-up KYORI!!!...........OKAY lets start gomen for my baka  
  
imouto.  
  
Kyori:(rubs bump) yeah gomen lets just start before my onee goes insane!  
  
Narrator: KYORI!!! that's it!!(chases after her) get back her DEAR sister come give your onee a  
  
HUG!  
  
Kyori: um.......lets start PLEASE uh-oh HELP ME MINNA-SAN ahhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Narrator:(hides baseball bat) alright minna-san! Enjoy the fanfic please R&R.^_~x  
  
  
  
********************Scene where Enishi fights Kenshin.********* *********************   
  
  
  
Enishi: Battousai you will pay for killing my sister! My jinchuu will satisfy me and my dead  
  
sister!  
  
Kenshin: Enishi please forgive me for killing her I never wished to have stained my hands with  
  
her blood that I did not. But I cannot turn back time to that day we must leave the past behind us  
  
and continue.....um...enishi are you okay?  
  
Enishi:.......................................(little Zzz's starts popping up on his head)  
  
Kenshin: (waves hand in front of him) enishi? Enishi? Hello? What the hell is wrong with you?  
  
Are you a...no he couldn't he isn't...he is!(he clenches fist tightly) ENISHI WAKE UP!!!!!!!  
  
Enishi:....WHAT? Where's the fire!(looks around then sees kenshin pissed-off) oh...um...hey! um  
  
what's wrong with you don't tell me you forgot your line again! Jesus and to think you are the  
  
battousai! Shish!   
  
Kenshin:......IIE it was YOU who screwed up this time you fell asleep on me!!(points at enishi on  
  
the chest)  
  
Enishi:......well it's not my fault if your STUPID philosophy-shit puts ME TO SLEEP!(breathes  
  
very heavily also pissed)  
  
Kenshin:....................................(clenches fists tightly then starts to shack uncontrollably)  
  
Kenji: otou? Are you okay?(gazes at kenshin then eyes widen like saucers)Enishi-oji! I think you  
  
should run for it!  
  
Enishi: and why? Pray tell should I do tha.......(stares at kenshin's piercing amber pissed-off  
  
eyes)oh my GOD! HIS going TO KILL ME!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!(starts running far-far-far- far-  
  
far-far-far-far-far-far away from them screaming)  
  
***************Scene with chibi-kenji, kaoru, and kenshin discussing about.....*************  
  
  
  
  
  
Kenji's talk of "Manhood"  
  
(Chibi)Kenji: Otousan! Okaasan! can I ask you a question?(runs to them and looking at them  
  
with innocent indigo eyes.)  
  
Kaoru: "Sure kenji what is it."(picks up chibi-kenji and smiles at him.)  
  
Kenji: "Who made me?"  
  
Kenshin: "Me and your mother son."(also smiles at his son)  
  
Kenji: "Then who is sex-dono?"  
  
Kenshin: "Oro!?"(looks around set to see the RK-cast fall anime-style)  
  
Kaoru: "Nani!?"(starts to panic then looks at kenshin for help.)  
  
Kenji: "I heard that good or bad sex made me, who is it otousan!? okaasan!?"  
  
Kaoru: "We will tell you when you are older son."  
  
Kenji: "Why?"  
  
Kaoru: "Because... you don't know him, you will not know him until your grown up."  
  
Kenji: "Why?"  
  
Kenshin: "Because it's the law of nature de gozaru yo."  
  
Kenji: "Why?"  
  
Kenshin: "Well, that's how life is."  
  
Kenji: "Why?"  
  
Kenshin: "Because it is already set..."  
  
Kenji: "Why?"  
  
Kenshin: "Because someone sets it..."  
  
Kenji: "Who?"  
  
Kenshin: "Kami-sama."  
  
Kenji: "When?"  
  
Kenshin: "Before you are born."  
  
Kenji: "Where?"  
  
Kenshin: "In heaven de gozaru."  
  
Kenji: "oh..."  
  
Kenshin/Kaoru [thinking]: silence... could it be? Has he given up? Will there be peace? Has a  
  
dream come true?  
  
Kenji: "And why?"  
  
Kenshin/Kaoru [thinking]: Dammit.  
  
Kaoru: "Um, can we answer that later?"  
  
Kenji: "Ok... then can I ask another question de gozaru ka?"  
  
Kaoru: "Of course kenji, anything, what is it?"(smiles brightly to hear kenji talk like kenshin.)  
  
Kenji: "what is sexual tension?"  
  
Kenshin: "oroooororooroo!"(falls face first on the ground.)  
  
Kaoru: "I....kenji who told you about sex-dono and sexual tension?"(starts getting angry)  
  
Kenshin: (gets back up) hai kenji who told you about this de gozaru...(glares at the RK-cast with  
  
amber eyes)  
  
Kenji: ano...it was Misao-obachan and Aoshi-ojichan.(point to misao and aoshi while misao  
  
hides behind aoshi and while aoshi is writing his last will.)  
  
Kenshin: (Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, and very pissed off starts  
  
to walk towards aoshi and misao slowly with dark narrowed amber eyes) you two how could you  
  
tell MY INNOCENT SON ABOUT SEX!   
  
Aoshi: (gulps and point at misao) she made me do it, she forced me into this with...(starts to  
  
mumble)blackmail.  
  
Kenshin: (grabs sakabatou then hits aoshi and he falls to the ground) one down and one to  
  
go...(starts walking to misao while she runs away.)  
  
Misao: AOSHI!!! HIMURA DON'T COME NEAR ME HEEELLLPPP!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: (smirks evilly) Oh misao!! Come HERE I want to TALK to YOU about MY  
  
SON!!!(starts laughing evilly) bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kenji: (looks at kaoru then at kenshin) okaa? Otou, is he okay because he look like enishi-ojisan  
  
now, is he crazy?!  
  
Kaoru: *sigh* no kenji your otou is not crazy he just is mad at misao and aoshi and also he had a  
  
migraine this morning so he would have turned out as battousai anyway.*sigh*  
  
Kenji: oh...so otou is crazy! Why did you marry him if he's koo-koo! Huh okaa!  
  
Kaoru: I don't know kenji I have no clue why maybe I was drunk or drugged when I married him  
  
I don't know...well actually I don't even remember our honeymoon either! Hmm! Maybe I was  
  
drugged!  
  
  
  
Director: um...oh...yeah...I'm just going to call the police and huddle up in that lonely corner over  
  
there and cry myself a river. Also while we're at it battousai kill all of you and I go crazy and  
  
probably shoot myself too, yeah that sounds good!  
  
*************************At The Break Room**************************************  
  
(Our heros (and enemies) have won themselves a two hour break for some strange unknown  
  
reason......)  
  
Souzou: (starts humming a nice melody) hmmm hm hmm hm hm hmmm hmmm hm hmm....  
  
Shin ya: What the hell are you humming about?  
  
Souzou: I'm humming something I saw in South Park last night...chupow!!(I don't own south  
  
park either)  
  
Kenji: what was that you said?  
  
Souzou: huh? I said that I got it from south park...chupow!!  
  
Ryu(Saitou's son): chupow? What the hell did you say?  
  
Souzou: WELL YOU GUYS FUCK OFF!!! I GOT IT FROM MICHEL JACKSON!! CHUPOW!!  
  
Kenji: Nani? You mean that gay dude!? The one who molesters kids!? The one who had at least  
  
a hundred surgeries!?  
  
Souzou:......yeah that's him! Isn't he cool!!!(he smiled idiotically at them)  
  
Ryu: what the Fuck are you....(then a light bulb pops in his head but dies out, so he pokes it then  
  
it lights up again.)  
  
Kenji: (watching ryu and his *light bulb* then mummers something about stupid wolves) Maa  
  
Maa calm down souzou but why would you want to copy that gay-ahhh! (Rubs his bottom as he  
  
see's ryu put back his katana) Hey what the fu-I mean what the heck did you do that for! (he said  
  
as he see's his father coming)  
  
Kenshin: ah! Kenji what are you doing with souzou and...ryu? (He glares at ryu for he had seen  
  
ryu *poke* his katana on kenji's bottom)  
  
Kenji: um...I was talking with them about what souzou saw last night!  
  
Kenshin: and what would that be my son?(he narrows his eyes at souzou for it was HIM that told  
  
his innocent aisoku kenji all the porno stuff and foul words and bad attitude so he doesn't trust  
  
souzou even if he is his nephew.)  
  
Souzou:(knowing his uncle's stare)oh don't worry kenshin-ojisan I'm just telling kenji and ryu of  
  
my new word..chupow!  
  
Kenshin: (raises eyebrow) chu-pow? Souzou what is that de gozaru ya!  
  
Ryu: It's a cool Michel Jackson phrase, ne Kenji?!  
  
Kenji: (looks at ryu like a mad cow) what the-ahhh!!!(gets *poked* again by ryu)  
  
Kenshin:(pissed at ryu once again *poking* his pure son)Ryu! Do not *poke* my son  
  
again!(grabs kenji then embraces him)  
  
Kenji: (totally embarrassed by his father's protectiveness) Otou...it's ok I'm fine, ne?(he looks at  
  
kenshin to see if he buys it but see's the battousai instead.)  
  
Shin ya(who has been left out): why do you think souzou's new word is cool ryu? Also why is  
  
ojisan hugging kenji like a lifeline?  
  
Ryu: well......(then light bulb pops up again but dies once more so he pokes it but it won't light  
  
up)shimatta! This bulb won't lit up and I had a good idea too!!!(starts poking it again)  
  
Battousai: (watches as ryu tries to lit the *light bulb* on, he smirks then whisper to kenji  
  
something) so what do you say son shall we?  
  
Kenji: hmmm......(smirks evilly) lets otou it will be fun!   
  
(Kenshin and kenji goes to the wall that has a switch on then pulls it up to ON then watches.)  
  
Ryu: (light bulb turns on again)heh heh I did it yeah!!(then bulb dies)crap!!!(turns on) hai!!(off)  
  
fuck!(on) good! (Off) what the FUCK is wrong with it I need a new BULB!!  
  
Souzou:(watching kenshin and kenji flicking the switch on and off) well maybe you never used it  
  
so it probably got rusted.  
  
Ryu:(pissed) are you saying that I'm STUPID!!!(trying to ignore the *light bulb* going on and  
  
off)  
  
Souzou: well....(he points to kenshin and kenji) their the ones who's messing your mind!!!  
  
Ryu: (looks over to where kenshin and kenji started whistling and looking around while getting  
  
away from the wall.) YOU TWO you're the ONES that messed my *LIGHT BULB*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(points to the lit bulb but dies again) HEY YOU DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kenji: we didn't do it our hands didn't even touch the wall that time(pulls out his hands)SEE!!  
  
Battousai:(also pulls out hands) we didn't do it this time like my son said.  
  
Janitor: (comes up) Oops! is that light bulb broken again this is the tenth time this happened this  
  
week!!(switches the old light bulb then places a new one in it's place)There you go now good as  
  
new!!(then walks away)  
  
Ryu: What THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!(points to where the janitor left)does this mean I never  
  
had an idea THIS WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!!  
  
Souzou:(thinking...that's one cra-zy mother-fucker)yeah that's what I said ryu DUH!!....chumona!  
  
Kenji: what did you say?  
  
Souzou: *sigh* how many times will I repeat that I got it from Michel Jackson!!  
  
Battousai:(eyes widen) Nani! You mean that man who molesters children?!  
  
Souzou: you know ojisan that's what kenji said too....chumona!!  
  
Battousai: Oh HELL NO!! Lets go kenji I DON'T want YOU LEARNING this SHIT!!(grabs  
  
kenji then walks to the other side of the break room)  
  
Kenji: (tries to pray away from his father) otou Iie it's fine otou let me GO!!! HELP MEEEE!!!!!  
  
Battousai: NO!!! YOUR NOT GOING TO POTTY YOUR MOUTH JUST LIKE I DID YOU'RE  
  
MY SON SO NOOOO!!!  
  
Kenji:(stops fussing)oh...oh okay otou you win!(mumbles under his breath)*I already know a lot  
  
otou oh What I know*  
  
Kenshin:(he turned back to the rurouni) what did you say kenji?  
  
Kenji: huh? Oh I was just saying...what a great father I have who cares SO much for his  
  
innocent, pure, clean son! Yup. (rolling his eyes slightly)  
  
Kenshin:(who actually believes it) arigatoo aisoku kenji!!(hugs kenji really tightly)  
  
Kenji: c..can....can't......bre......breath!!!!(tries to BREATH as kenshin continues to squeeze him  
  
in his fatherly love.)O..otou...I ..can...can't..breath!!.....OTOU......I'm........CHOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin:(lets go off kenji while saying...) Oro!? Goman nasai aisoku kenji I did not mean to  
  
suffocate you de gozaru ya!  
  
Kenji:(taking DEEP breaths) it's....ok otou I'm.....fine now, ne!?(he smiles sheepily at him) I'm  
  
fine really otou you just do that because you care for me that's all, ne otou?!(then he hugs  
  
kenshin back)  
  
Kenshin: (smiling proudly) arigatoo kami-sama for bringing a wonderful son!(he hugs him back..  
  
but not TOO tightly)  
  
(Then they hear snap shots they look around to see saitou with a camera in his hand and he  
  
smiling devilry)  
  
Saitou:(swinging the camera up and down) Oi battousai and chibi-battousai NOW I CAN SHOW  
  
all these photos to EVERYBODY to show THE BATTOUSAI MOLESTERING HIS OWN  
  
SON!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!(he runs away)  
  
Kenshin/kenji:(look at each other then says...)GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKING LIAR!(they  
  
chase after him very pissed)   
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Narrator: That's the end of chapter 2...I'm SO SORRY for updating SO LATE I had a fever then I  
  
had piles of homework then got grounded for something I didn't EVEN DO....huh! Parents you  
  
can't live with them and you can't live with out them.-_-x  
  
Kyori: But we were very surprised that people wanted us to even do chapter 2, I thought we'd do  
  
just one chapter and be done with it.... So I guess I was wrong....oh well. o_Ox  
  
Narrator: I will start on chapter 3 but I need help...I'm thinking on the next chapter that one of  
  
the main character's has a day off and everything goes wrong you know....  
  
Kyori: what she's saying is she wants to do it on Soujiro but I want to do it on Kenji...so we're  
  
letting you decide.  
  
Narrator: yeah kyori thanks for telling them MY IDEA!!!! huh anyway we want you to vote on  
  
the following character's to see which one is the lucky one to get his/her free day screwed up so  
  
here they are.....  
  
1.Kenshin  
  
2.Kaoru   
  
3.Kenji (drools ^,^x)  
  
4.Soujiro (oh yeah!!! ^_~x)  
  
5.Saitou  
  
6.Sanosuke  
  
7.Megumi  
  
8.Yahiko  
  
9.Souzou  
  
10.Ryu  
  
11.Aoshi  
  
12.Misao  
  
13.Shin ya  
  
14.Enishi  
  
15.Kyori  
  
Kyori: now you see why we can't decide so it's UP TO YOU to decide who will get to have a  
  
hell-up day....HEY HOW COME MY NAME IS UP THERE!!!!  
  
Narrator: oh because I wanted to....I just want to screw your life like you did mine it's only fair,  
  
right minna-san!?!?  
  
Kyori: oh NO!! NO NO NO!!! I will NOT ALLOW IT MINNA-SAN IF YOU vote for me to get  
  
screwed YOU WILL PAY!  
  
Narrator: oh don't worry they won't vote for you! (Writes on a poster VOTE FOR KYORI)  
  
Kyori: (who doesn't see it) are you sure?  
  
Narrator: OF COURSE I am, have I ever lied to you before!?  
  
Kyori: well yeah! The time you said that soujiro got killed by a box...and the time you said  
  
killing was legal...and the time you-(narrator covers mouth)mum umu mum   
  
Narrator: heh hee don't believe her she's lying-AHHH!!(kyori bites hand) you little brat why I'll..  
  
well bye bye for now till next time! Oh and PLEASE REVIEW!!! AND VOTE!!!!(chases after  
  
kyori with kenshin's sakabatou)  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Mean while.....  
  
Kenji: hey otou?  
  
Kenshin: hai kenji what is it?  
  
Kenji: where is your sakabatou?  
  
Kenshin: ORO!! Where IS IT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!(cries)  
  
Kenji: (patting kenshin's shoulder) Maa Maa otou we'll find it and another thing why do you call  
  
your sakabatou HAPPY!?  
  
Kenshin: Because it makes me a Hero*sniff*without it I'm...NOTHING!!(cries again)  
  
(Then sakabatou falls from the sky and lands on kenji's head.)  
  
Kenji: ORORORORORORORORORO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(falls to the ground Anime-style)  
  
Kenshin:(stops crying then grabs happy back) OH it's here you FOUND IT KENJI ARIGATOO  
  
MY SON!!(hugs kenji then shakes him crazily)thank you thank you thank you thank you I LOVE  
  
YOU MY SON!!!!(then skips away hugging happy)  
  
Kenji:(before losing consciences) um...your welcome otou?(he looks around) HELP ME!!!!(then  
  
faints)  
  
Kenshin:(comes back) Oops I forgot my son(picks him up) now how did kenji get all  
  
messy?(looks at kenji then his eyes soften)*my little boy* I'll ask him later.(he walks away  
  
carrying his bundle of joy in his arms and smiling like a father would)  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
AT THE AUTHOR SPACE............  
  
Narrator: umm...kyori do you think that they won't notice the way the sakabatou fell from the sky  
  
do you?  
  
Kyori: OH NOOOO!!!!! they WON'T think a THING! they will certainly be CLUELESS!!!  
  
(rolling her eyes)  
  
Narrator: *sighs in relief* good I was getting worried!  
  
Kyori: (smacks her head with her hand)  
  
Narrator: what's wrong imouto?  
  
Kyori: NOTHING! Lets just go before mom KILLS US!!  
  
Narrator: OK!! BYE MINNA-SAN UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ja Ne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^_____^x  
  
  
  
Kyori: YEAH BYE and remember TO VOTE!!!!!!!!! BUT NOT ME DON'T YOU DARE VOTE  
  
FOR ME!!!!! Ja ne! ;-_-x  
  
Narrator/Kyori: Press that Button please ^_~x................... 


	3. Author's Note

Author's Note  
  
Oi! Minna-san, no this is not a chapter sessha apologizes for this....-_-x..........................................  
  
Sessha knows that sessha MUST UPDATE but...this third chapter must be voted so sessha  
  
cannot do anything unless sessha has at least 10 votes to make the next chapter. Sessha has  
  
already 2 votes but sessha needs 8 more to make the next chapter. So sessha will just have to  
  
wait until 8 more come in. But if all 10 votes is a tie (no one picked twice) then sessha must  
  
choose the character randomly. Sessha apologizes if it takes too long...but sessha promises to  
  
make it as quick as possible. But if you cannot wait then you may vote twice if you like so that  
  
sessha would be able to put chapter 3. Once more sessha apologizes for this inconvenience. ~.~x  
  
Also if you wish to vote more then twice then it is fine if there are more votes then sessha will  
  
count it also. When sessha has chapter 3 ready then sessha will put the names of the people who  
  
voted for that character in the chapter for credit for ruining that character's life.  
  
PLEASE DO NOT FLAME SESSHA IF IT TAKES TOO LONG SESSHA APOLOGIZES PLZ!!  
  
Mini-oro:*running away from the reviewers* *climbs up a tree hugging a branch for dear life as  
  
reviewers start to burn the tree* "sessha is sorry! Sessha will work on the chapter PLEASE! NO!  
  
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mini-oro signing off for now -^_~x-.................................................................................................. 


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